Don’t Read This if You Want to Get out of Debt
If you want to get out of debt, quickly avert your eyes from this post! X out the page, and promptly shut your computer. Or back out of this website and turn off the phone never to return again! You will read things that you won’t want to hear. I’m going to speak frankly, and not mince words.
Here is the guide to how to stay in debt:
Eat all meals out…breakfast, lunch, AND dinner.
Give your kids everything they want, when they want it.
Never compare prices.
Keep treating yourself to manicures, pedicures, and hair coloring…weekly, if possible.
Always buy national brands, and turn up your nose to generics.
Keep going out to the movies. Don’t wait for anything to come to Netflix or DVD or to the library.
Work actively to cultivate an attitude of entitlement.
Never save up for anything, and don’t ever let your mind think about the future.
Buy all of your food prepackaged/prepared. Avoid making anything homemade.
Embrace impulse shopping. Buy it right here, and right now. And demand everything right away.
Max out every credit card you have, and after that, get your hands on more credit cards.
Take the vacation of a lifetime…even if you just got laid off.
Never look for anything you need at a thrift store.
Keep giving money to that relative who never pays you back and never seems to learn financial responsibility. Be an enabler.
Only rely on the computer to find out how much is in your bank account. Keeping your checkbook up is a waste of time.
Get the biggest cable package available since everyone needs thousands of channels.
Remember the word “want” is the same as “need”.
Secure the biggest mortgage the bank will give you. A bigger house is a better house.
Pay the minimum on your credit card bill each month.
Retire before your house is paid off. You deserve it!
(By the way, as my kids hear me say this, they’re freaking out. They are wondering who sucked the contents of their mom’s brain out and replaced it with different brain.)
Feel free to share your own strategies in the comments.
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